A Late Night Return

Three days in Las Vegas passed by in a blur

Of fun food gambling and new friends

My lovely hotel suite got worked over every night

By an assortment of the hotel staff and their friends

The good part about that is I didn't get charged if something got broken

But the good times were worth it even if I did

Dog finally learned to use the natural grass square

Much to our amusement and his horror

We'd all stop talking when he went and stare

He'd stare right back and do his business

Then go back to socializing with everyone like nothing happened

My troubles felt few as I soaked up the place

But on the last night there things took a bit of a turn

Right in the middle of a semi-sober game of charades

I had a wicked seizure which freaked everyone out

I hadn't told anyone what was wrong with me

So I got a free ride to the hospital out of it

The doctor's faces were pretty priceless

When I told them my medical issues

They recommended I stay there in their treatment

I thanked them but signed myself out

I've got other plans in mind

A short cab ride back to the hotel

I made short sad work of saying goodbye to my new friends

Collected Dog from the suite

He marked his grass square one more time

Grabbing a couple box meals to go

From the five star restaurant

And out the door we went

The four hour trip back home was pretty quiet

The stars shining down on us almost blindingly bright

Heat cranked against the desert chill

Dog curled up in the footwell to soak it up and sleep

Left alone with my thoughts in the night

I reflected on things

Questioned my plans

But reasoned that it was still right

Arriving home again Dog leapt from the truck

Checking things out to see if things smelled ok

I grabbed my stuff from the back and wandered to the trailer

On the front steps was a box and an envelope

Which read, "Hello neighbor!"

There were some assorted baked goods inside

Sealed in tupperware thank goodness

Or something would have eaten them

In the envelope a hand drawn card

Signed by a large family down the road about ten miles

I've been invited to dinner on Sunday

Dog came around the corner apparently satisfied with his look around

And began nosing at the boxes

So I opened some up and spread the love with him

With a muffin in one hand and the invitation in the other

I sighed and decided to go

Though more relationships was the last thing I thought I needed

Sitting down in my favorite chair I had one more cookie

Then slowly fell asleep sitting there

Dog warming my toes

KBKS 6 - Penthouse Suite

Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas Nevada

Is what the iconic sign said

After arriving I have to say I do feel welcome

Without too much trouble

And a wad of hundred dollar bills

I found a casino hotel willing to take me and Dog

The valet didn’t know what to think of the truck

He made a face at me when I tossed him the keys

Or maybe he was reacting to my squishing tennis shoes

Still wet from the run through the desert

I’m not sure

I grinned and asked him if he had a current tetanus shot

He said, “What?”

I pointed at the rough edges from where I sawed off the roof

And he laughed

He was good with it when I pressed a Benjamin into his hand

Money sure makes things easier

But I’ve got the budget to live large for a short time

Dog shook himself wetly on the bellhop

We both agreed it made the guy smell better

So I carried my own bags

Across the marble lobby

Dog’s tails clicking on the surface

Making time with my shoe squishes

A sample musician’s bread and butter

I’ll stop saying I tipped everyone big right here

Just assume I did

So without a raised eyebrow I rented the penthouse suite

We made ourselves at home immediately

Enjoying this swanky executive retreat

I ordered some champagne and two rare steaks for lunch

The waiter found us in the hot tub when he arrived

I waved him over and had him pop the bubbly

He seemed friendly so I invited him over after his shift

And to bring some friends too

This is not a date

I had him grab the spare room key as I didn’t know when I’d be back

I’m going down to the strip to take in a show or two

Dog plans on staying in and having a nap

It’s better than a kennel

The concierge even sent up a natural grass square

It’s for dogs to do their business on

Who knew?

Wiggling my toes in the bubbling water

I called down to the lobby

Inquiring about the rental of a tux and some shoes

I’d like to look like 007 I told them

I was told that it would be just so

Things sort of falling into place for the evening

I dried off and laid down for a nap

The meds make me a little upsy downsy

Sometimes I’m wired after taking them

At others pretty sleepy

Dog climbs up beside me

And rubs his body on the comforter

Before burrowing into the pillow

And staring at me

KBKS 5 - Vegas Bound

I'm wet

So is Dog

We set out for Vegas at dawn

The weather was beautiful

The desert sunrise breathtaking

My meds were working wonderfully

All was right with the world

Then it started raining

Which normally wouldn't be a problem

After all, a 1977 Chevrolet truck is designed to keep out the weather

But this one doesn't have a roof anymore

Last week I took a short sanity break

And had a few beers

With every passing twelve ounce

My eyes fell upon a Sawzall on the bench

Then the roof of the truck

More and more often

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore

And the red pickup roadster was born

After removing all the jagged edges with a grinder

It was pretty not half bad looking too

I rationalized that this was the desert

How often can it rain?

Not much is the answer

Or often

At the first drops I looked up in dismay

My old mentality briefly breaking in

Dog picked up on it too

And tried to hide from the water up behind the windshield

But after a few minutes of getting good and wet

I started laughing

This is awesome

I'm driving an old pickup truck

With the roof chopped off

Through the desert

In a wicked rainstorm

What an absurdly awesome situation

I turn up the radio and start singing to the '80's station

I feel like a kid again playing in the rain

With two hundred miles to go to Vegas

Dog began barking excitedly along with my singing

I share a piece of wet jerky with Dog

This is the best time I've had in years

We motor onward to Las Vegas

Dripping water from everywhere as we go

Laughing and singing

With jerky breath

KBKS 4 - Space Suit Gasket Blues

As the sun rises

It marks four months into this project

I've worked at it every day

From dawn to dusk plus a few hours

Dog has been a stalwart friend

Putting up with my lousy musical taste

Stoically watching me with Dread Zeppelin swirling around him

Not even flattening his ears

I think he deserves a doggy medal

I'll have to think of someplace for him to go

I don't think it would be fair to take him with me

It's a one way trip and he is only a few years old

He's got years and years left in him

I'm cutting new gaskets for the suit today

On a whim I decided that it would be a good thing to check

And it's fortunate that I did

As I took apart the sections of suit

The gaskets crumbled away

Some to literally dust

Apparently Russian rubber isn't that robust

So I figured out some durable rubber to use

and ordered several large pieces

And here I sit with all manner of scissors and x-acto knives

Cutting fitting and testing

Pretty boring stuff

Even Dog has gone to take a nap in the sunny spot outside the tent

I think I need a vacation

Not a real one mind you

Just a few days to blow off some steam

I think I'm going a little crazy

Sure, crazy-'er' if you insist

This wouldn't be a bad time to do it

I've got several things in motion on the jet

None of which will be ready for about a week to install

My custom titanium stressed powerplant bulkhead is being machined

All the fasteners are here though and I've laid out the pattern on the structure

It's going to look sweet when I put it in

I'm taking lots of pictures so I can share what I've done

Not till I'm about to leave of course!

Too many busy bodies would want to stop me

Probably take me down by force

Assholes

I sourced a third rocket motor similar to the first two

A little smaller in output though

I'm installing it in the rear along the centerline

Might come in handy for a little extra boost

Extra fuel tanks are being fabbed in town

One for each chemical compound

I'm maxing out the takeoff weight

And I hope there's enough to go around

I'm leaving the tip tanks on and using them for extra propellant

I'll just use the wing tanks for Jet A

I won't need as much of that

Just enough to get me up to altitude and speed

Everything is going swimmingly with months to spare

The day looks to be beautiful

What more could a man need

Right

A vacation

I think I'll go to Vegas

KBKS 3 - The Moon Is My Mistress

The moon is my mistress as she rises and sets

I dream of her nightly always at my best

I have no real reason to go

I don't know anyone there

Nor is it a great place to retire

Due to the known lack of air

But it calls to me like a siren

Now on these baby steps to get there

My time slowly ticking down

I draw sketches on my pad carefully

Unable to keep the shakes at bay anymore

I've taken a few private lessons in a Cessna 172

That combined with my aviation knowledge

Should be enough to help me do what I need to

My temporary outbuilding concealing my skunk works

Flutters at the bottoms as the desert breezes blow through

The dog keeping a watch for the occasional animal to wander in

At the center of attention is my project dujour

The Learjet in question is currently in partial disrepair

I dragged it home two weeks ago behind my pickup truck

What a sight we must have been on the county highway

Then cutting across three miles of dry lakebed

In this project I'm making liberal use of plywood and glue

Industrial strength deck screws are doing their part too

I'm not neglecting the traditional arts

I'm bending some metal and shooting rivets to make a few parts

I'm just cutting corners on a few things

The grains of sand are not forgiving

As they funnel down the hourglass

Time adding up for it all

I'm routing nitrogen lines throughout the fuselage

These I will use as primitive reaction jets

They'll stick through the fuselage at various points

I'll control them on a plywood control panel via manual flip valves

Fed from the two standard sized 3000psi tanks mounted behind the cockpit

Which rests right next to four oxygen cylinders

It looks like a spider's web on my hand drawings

The feed line coming from the cylinders to the board

Then fanning out to different places on the external skin

I've been bending tubing for two days now, but the end is in sight

I'm not bothering to seal up holes or get new gaskets

My new suit it coming by FedEx this week

It's Russian space program surplus from 1972

A marvelous piece of cold war engineering

Shiny, lightweight and just my size

Still saying "CCCP" on the breast too

This doesn't feel so mad anymore

It feels much like any job you do with a deadline

It's just that after my deadline date passes

One way or another I'll be through

Sun setting on my home encampment now

I fire up a few more halogen floor lights

Telling Dog to get me a beer just brings a crooked look

So I trudge over to the fridge and grab a couple

Throwing him a treat in the process as it's not his fault he misunderstood

I think I'll stay up on this for a few more hours

Make the most of this lovely night

KBKS 2 - This Happened Before The Last

I think I’ll blame the Tequila

And way too much reading of certain Sci-Fi authors

Otherwise I have zero defense for this mad idea

I want to go to the moon and I don’t care how it happens

Everyone has a bucket list

At least lots of people do especially after that movie

And since the diagnosis I’ve decided that I’m kicking mine in

Before my body betrays me and succumbs to the sickness

I’ve got about a year

So I’m doing the easiest thing on my list and I’m going to the moon

How? A sane person might ask

I’ll try to explain this madness:

Ever seen the movie The Right Stuff?

Regardless I’ll elaborate on the scene I’m talking about

Yeager takes his NF-104A on a zoom climb to an altitude record attempt

There’s a rocket motor on the tail of the aircraft for high altitude thrust

Reaction nozzles on the fuselage assist in maneuvering in the thin air

It looks like he could get into space almost

I cashed in my retirement fund, sold my house, my collections, and moved

Here in the high desert with my truck and my dog, Dog

I can gaze out at the dry lake bed next door and think about what I’ll do

I’m seeing a guy about some surplus rocket motors tomorrow

I found an old Learjet online this morning only twenty miles away

It’s being sold for salvage

But it looks like it’s all there

I have to hurry

My left big toe has gone numb on me

I cut myself shaving today too

My hand jumped for no damn good reason

And wouldn’t stop shaking for an hour

Not enough time, dammit!

KBKS 1 - Picking Up Towards The Middle

So I lied

The ground flashes by as I streak along at full power
Just twenty feet above the blurred earth
Razor thin wings cutting the air at six hundred miles per hour
I’d be worried about being reported
But I’ve taken measures
Well, I painted the registration on the fuselage
Just like I’m supposed to
In block letters about one shade in contrast
To the ghostly flat white that covers the exterior of the Learjet
And in the absolute minimum legal size

This is the first
And only
Test flight
So I’m flying it like I stole it
Some would say reckless
But I beg to differ
This dream
The last dream
THE dream
Is coming true
It’s my mental musing done in metal
The original sketches done on a Burger King napkin
I have no engineering degree
But I have faith and that seems to be enough
To suspend the laws of physics and fear at least for now

I pull back on the yoke hoping and praying
Leaping out of ground effect at just below the speed of sound
All the blood rushing to my feet as I pull at three gees
My thumb taps the red button
The Shiny Red Button
Held to the left grip with a dozen loops of safety wire

The airframe shudders as a new vibration joins the rest
Accompanying the sixteen thousand rotations per minute
Of internal General Electric suck squeeze bang blow
Now a trio of hydrogen peroxide and kerosene combustion
Compressed through three fixed nozzles
Collectively add twenty five thousand pounds of thrust
Bristol Siddeley’s finest contribution to chemical propulsion
Escorts me through mach one and to a predictable problem

Almost simultaneously the primary engines compressor stall
I chop the throttles
Release the button
And level the aircraft out
In a few moments once again becoming a subsonic beast

Before descending I bring the now recovered engines back to power
Happily cruising at twenty thousand feet
And five hundred miles per hour
Yes
This airframe will do nicely I think to myself

I told the man I was going to make myself a man cave out of the
fuselage
The coolest aviation themed man cave there ever was

The wings were going to become high end conference tables

The engines
To be disassembled for decorations

Like I said

I lied