#204 Lives In Sixty Paces

I’ve been a firefighter

For at least an hour

It’s getting boring

There aren't many fires

Everyone seems to be okay

So I say my goodbyes

And I’m on my way

Sixty paces later

I’m a knight storming a castle

Fighting dragons and dodging arrows

There’s a fair maiden inside

Rescuing needs to be done

Will no one step up to her need?

I shall be the one

After scaling the castle wall

By using my daggers to climb

Slaying the evil wizard

And carrying the princess from her prison

I refuse her kiss (eww)

I take sixty more paces

And end up doing this:

In a shiny new space craft

Flushed with pride at my new job

As a brave astronaut

Floating in outer space

Weightless as can be

Really hanging from a rope

Carefully looped over a tree

I resupply the space station

And fix a few satellites

We've been space-walking a long time

We check our tools and gauges and realize

Our air is getting thinner

Time to reenter the atmosphere

It’s almost time for dinner

I make it sixty paces closer to home

But I have time yet

I pause to race an Indy Car

Faster than all my competitors

I charge hard as they make way

Waving to AJ Foyt

As I pass him on the straightaway

The sun is dipping lower

It’s definitely time to eat

I take the last sixty paces

This time I’m me

I kiss my mom

She looks surprised and asks why

I tell her just because

And help her set the table

She asks how my day was

I tell her of the many jobs I did

As I made my way down the beach

The way the sand felt under my feet

The fun adventures I had

What great kids I did meet

Nothings better than being me though

As I complement mom on another great meal

I'm tired and looking forward to my soft bed already

And dreaming of the things I’ll do for real

#203 Keeps the Monsters Away

I've got this toy

With two metal things

A body made of wood

With a couple of springs

I use it every day

It's fun as heck to play

And most importantly

It keeps the monsters away

They don't like it's clicking

That sound it makes

While I'm winding and it's sticking

And all my pressure is scraping off little flakes

They don't like those either

The flakes I mean

Even more than the clicking

Those flakes just make them turn green

Feel ill they do

Just at the thought

Of dealing with this perfect mess

That I have wrought

For if they come near

To threaten all that I hold dear

I'll click my toy, making sparks

Lighting the flakes of magnesium

Causing the hot white fire that they fear

Yet come they do

Every once in awhile

Testing the waters I suppose

Coming single file

That's part of their pain

Being monsters of little brain

They learn this small lesson

But then forget, they are difficult to train

Away they run as they always do

Every which way they fled

Meandering back

As their courage ebbs back

To take their place as monsters of the underbed

#202 Don't Ask

Don't ask me

What I really think

I might just tell you

In vividly descriptive words

Changing how you feel about me

And make your heart fucking sink

Don't ask me

For directions

I'll send you in circles

A hundred miles out of your way

Just to amuse me

And totally make my day

Don't ask me

What I want to eat

I'll go into a soliloquy

On the nature of food, man, and nature

Why the sky is blue

And why that should matter to you

And you'll never get to order

Don't ask me

If I like those shoes

I'll tell you they make you look slutty

And how much I like that

You'll walk away feeling dirty

Like a whore

Don't ask me

If you can break the rules

I'll ask you if anyone's looking

Including your conscience

Which is the harshest observer

And will keep you up at night

Don't ask me

If that dress makes you look fat

I'll probably tell you yes

Little do you know

That I don't like my women skinny

And your Boticelli-esque form turns me on

Don't ask me

If it's hot enough for me

I'll quietly gather kindling

For a bonfire

Light it and throw you in

And throw that question right back at you

Don't ask me

If I really love you

It will make me cry

If you haven't believed me

The first thousand times I've told you

Then what chance have I

Don't ask me

How I'm doing

I'll do a handstand

My kilt will fall about my chest

And you'll see how I wear it traditionally

You'll shrink from my manhood's funny dance

Don't ask me

What my last words are

They are not for your ears

The blame and regret

Of all my years

Will run circles in my head

Even as I draw my last breath

You don't want to know

#201 Happiness Is

Happiness is

A warm gun

Some fruit stripe gum

Playing twister, with general fun

I define this feeling

As a slight sense of reeling

Of rolling down a long hill

Sliding on a sled wherever you will

I divine the meaning

As a sense of well being

Such as being nude

Covered in kittens

Happiness is seeing yourself

Reflected in the fender

Of your shiny green metallic Schwinn Sting Ray

As you perch on the sparkled banana seat

Smiling for all the world to see

You pedal around

Without a care in the world

Except to listen for the church bells

Telling you it's time for supper

Happiness is a kind of contentment

A safe cuddly feeling

Which is often found

In the arms and body

Of the one you love

Preferably when it isn't too hot

For when it is

I strive for the same feeling

By just looking at them

Happiness is

The sun on your face

Crunchy leaf piles in the fall

Unique snowflakes

Clinging lightly to your eyelashes

As you turn up your face

To watch the first snowfall

It is in moments

Snatched before they are ruined

By someone's comments or guffaw

It is in your heart

Where all good things are kept

Those perfect kittenny cuddly sunshiny crunchy snowy memories

There for the remembering

Any time your close your eyes at all

Happiness

Is

What you make of it

#200 Burns it Clean

The heat is unbearable

Cinders and ashes

Float in the air

The humidity hovers at 90 percent

How ironic that I want fire

The living fire

To cleanse all

Sweeping as from heaven

Leaving only potential

In it's blackened wake

I add more fuel

Piling it higher

The flames lick at the treetops

In answer to my stoking

I poke and I prod

At the cherry coals

Hiding at the bottom of the pile

Urging them to eke out a little more heat

I will drive the demons away

With the very fire that borne them

My poker waves in triumph

As the fire gets it's head

And starts eating it's way ahead

Off we march

My fire and I

To avenge the wrongs

And leave no right standing

Good and bad

Both take the heat

The time is past for judging which is which

None shall be spared

In this mad march to the sea

Froth spills from my lips

As I whip the flames

"Faster!!" I cry

It obeys me

With startling speed

I have many a mile to go

Before I can rest my fiery head this night

On my asbestos pillow of hope

Gazing out upon the black plains of the world

#199 Is a Kitchen Accretion Disk

There’s a black hole hovering in my kitchen

It sounds crazy

But it’s true

About three feet off the floor

Big as a basketball

And looking right at you

It stands where my trash can once did

Rest in peace chrome trash can

I loved you for your art deco looks

But now you are crushed

In a small dense gravity well

The garbage inside you also mushed

I wish I’d had some instruments

Or some observation going on

Now I have only a theory

As to how it was born

The trash can

Was always overfilled

Such that the flipper door couldn’t shut again

Gaping with things hanging out

As an animal with it’s tongue after it was killed

Still the can wasn’t emptied

Trash was pushed in mercilessly

Compacted and stood upon

Though the can’s metal walls protested

Crinkling and groaning

Sometimes heard almost to be laughing

As someone approached with another thing

Giggling at the idea

Knowing you must be jesting

Until finally it had to have happened

Something snapped

Or contracted

Or popped

With that, the can and all it’s contents

Disappeared from this existence

Leaving this small rift in space

To mark it’s place

It’s kind of convenient now

I must admit

I just toss garbage anywhere near

And it gets sucked right in

I never have to empty it either

Although there are hazards involved

Yesterday I lost my second favorite hat

And the day before

It almost sucked in the cat

I’ll have to put up some signs

It will keep OSHA at bay

Something simple and clear

I think it will say:

“WARNING: Time and space compressing kitchen disposal.  Use with caution”

That should work.

#198 Is Quitting

“C’mon bitch, smoke me”

I come alert from my daydream and look around

Nobody is there

I look down

It’s that goddamned cigarette again

I’ve been trying to quit

I know I should

And I’m trying

So get off my back

But the cigarette’s siren song

Is hard to resist

Especially when it is so compelling

It’s words pour out like sugar to my ears

“Wrap your ruby lips around me

You know you want it”

See what I mean?

It knows what I want to hear

And it doesn’t let up

I try to think positive thoughts instead

Spring meadows

Bunny rabbits, skinny pigs

Sweet smelling breath

Unless I have garlic

But those are the breaks

Babies, puppies, and sunshine

But I can’t keep it up forever

Work stress furrows my brow

And I unconsciously reach for the pack

“That’s it, slip me out, it’s so confining in here…”

That one cigarette

Being saved for when I really really need it

Pushes my buttons

I DO want it

But as much as I do;

I want it a little less than yesterday

And a little less than the week before this one

So I have it’s number

I shove the pack back in my pocket

Munch on some sunflower seeds

And mentally tell it to fuck off

I don’t need it anymore